May 27th, 2009
Who's the USRN?
I AM, bitch. Hahahaha courtesy of pearsonvue.com's quick results. I paid $7.95 just to know the results 2 days after my exam date.
Anyway, so on my exam date, I was 2 hours early. Weirdly enough, I was calm. I just wanted to get the exam over with. At that time I was so tired of reviewing that the mere sight of my laptop sickens me. Not to be cocky or anything, but while I was waiting to be led to a computer, I felt pretty confident because eventhough I answered and rationalized about a 100 questions per day (and on some days I cheat and do only 75 hahaha), which was half of what most people suggested that I accomplish per day, I have had a lot of encouragement from my family and friends. Visiting the Manaoag church also helped boost my confidence. I think I even smiled dorkily when my picture was taken, which was a requirement before going inside the testing area.
I sat down in front of my computer. Finally! Question number one was hard, but I decided not to worry about it because I still have more or less a hundred more to go. But then by the time I got to question number 10, I could feel my smile fading. I was cursing under my breath with every question. By the time I reached number 50, I wanted to run out of the testing area. Hahaha. So anyway I was hoping that my computer is going to stop at number 75, but then I got to 76 so I resigned myself into answering 200 questions more. It's a good thing I had a heavy breakfast. I was not really looking at the item number after I reached past 75, so I was a bit shocked that my computer suddenly went blank after I submitted my answer for the question I was currently working on. And then I suddenly mouthed FUCK!! It's over. I didn't even get a chance to fight until number 265. I'm not sure but I think my computer stopped somewhere between 85-90. Hahaha. So I left the testing area and went to get my things from the locker that was assigned to me. I was still in a state of shock. My cousin won't be picking me up from Trident (where the testing center was located by the way hehe) in about an hour so I just decided to head over to Cityland, which is about 2 buildings away, where there's a Booksale branch. I didn't even have a chance to browse because the moment I stepped inside the store, I had the overwhelming urge to cry. So I went out again and just headed over to the nearest Ministop, sat down in a table for four, and tried my very best to calm down. A few tears escaped. It must have been awkward for the guy who I was sharing a table with. Hahaha. When my cousin finally came, I wanted to tell her to just take me home because I wanted to cry and cry and cry. But I saw that she made an effort to look nice, because we were planning to have a lunch at Circles in Shangri-La, then to Booksale Makati Cinema Square, as a sort of celebration after my exam. I didn't have the heart to tell her that at this point I won't be able to tell the difference between SM's shawarma and the one in Circles, because I was feeling crappy. So I forced myself to eat. By the time we got to MCS tears were forming at the corner of my eyes so I hastily ran to the bathroom and cried there. Hahaha. I went back 15 minutes later after I have calmed myself down. I tried to browse through the Booksale shelves, I really did. I agree that it was the awesomest Booksale branch I have been to so far, but like the buffet lunch, I was not able to appreciate it. I think I just bought some 35 peso Marion Zimmer Bradley book just so we can finally go home because my cousin won't let me leave the store without buying anything.
When we got home, there was no place for me to wallow and cry because all the rooms were occupied. So I just locked myself in the bathroom. My tita called me over to her room to ask how my exam went but I just gave her two word answers and then just told her that I have a headache and I'm super sleepy because I am not used to waking up at 6 in the morning. And then I cried some more. I kept on thinking about the $400 I have just wasted and the other $400 mother and father would be forced to shell out when I retake the exam. My lola has been in the hospital for about 3 weeks at the time and I really can't afford to waste that kind of money. I thought about how I am going to tell all my friends and acquaintances about how I stupidly failed an exam I studied almost more than 3 months for.
Two days later I got the results. My mouth dropped open because I was really expecting to fail. I plurked about and told my friend Rochelle on YM because there was no one to tell the news to here at home, everyone was either still asleep or at work when I was checking the pearsonvue website. I texted the news to my tita who I think cried. Tears of joy she said, but I think she was just relieved haha because based on my reaction after the exam, she was expecting the worst. I told mother but she couldn't stay very long on the fone because she had to wake up early for work the next day.
I was happy and of course relieved. I actually did it! I passed! And on my own too hehe. But then an hour later, I felt bummed. It's because I suddenly realized that I yet have to go job-hunting. One more day of being jobless means one more day of being stuck here. And that was why I spent the past few days pouting. I kept thinking that I should have tried starting the jobhunt earlier. I felt so bad that I couldn't even enjoy reading for fun.
Yeah well stuff happens. I'm feeling much better now. I still haven't found a job, but I have been going to the hospital everyday to visit my lola and sometimes the 2-10pm nurse lets me help with the tube feedings. It's boring in the hospital, even with a book and my DS in tow, but it's loads better than staying at home. I have had enough of this place when I was reviewing for the NCLEX. And that way I get to sort of practice before I get a job or be allowed to volunteer.
Please kindly excuse whatever grammar crime I have committed. I haven't blogged in exactly 5 weeks, or so my livejournal tells me. Hahaha.
Next up: book reviews for whereisaif.com. I hope. Hehehe