The Fifth Marauder

i experienced my very first major operation yesterday. well i wasn't the scrub or circulating nurse, so i wasn't really involved directly with the cutting and sewing (that's suturing for you med people hehe), but i was the one assigned to monitor the patient's bp every 15 minutes, and later on was the one in charge of turning the suction machine on and off along with my bp duties. it was scary at first, especially when the surgeon was cutting through the skin on the patient's neck, as it was a thyroidectomy, the removal of one of the two lobes of her thyroid gland. i was less than 2 feet away from the action (hehe), and i tried to avoid looking at the scalpel having contact with the patient's neck as much as i could. the whole thing was ok. boring, even. because the procedure took too damn long, and i was rooted to my little spot by the patient's arm, where the bp cuff was. my legs were aching and the aircon was blowing directly at the back of my neck. it was a good thing i wore a sando underneath my scrubs and i had my cap and mask on.

the procedure was bloody, tedious, and boring. some of my groupmates who were just observing left the operating room after an hour because there was nothing else to see except human tissue and  more blood. hehe. and since i was so short, i had to tiptoe to look at the thyroid gland still attached to the patient's neck. it looked like balut drenched in human blood. haha. i wanted to take a picture, but i didn't have a camera phone with me at that time. to keep things a bit less boring, the anesthesiologist just told a lot of green jokes. dark green ones. haha. anyway, as i was watching this patient being cut open, it got me thinking that someday i don't want to be at the operating table myself someday. i don't even know the woman who has having her thyroid glands removed, but i feel sorry for her because all of the people in that operating room treated her as if she were a piece of meat and not a human being. her feet and face were covered with dark green sheets. her legs and sometimes her stomach was used as a table for discarded bloody OR sponges and threads. as i stood by her arm, clutching my groupmate's sthetoscope (because i forgot to bring mine that day), i was wondering what she was dreaming about at that moment.

i was so tired when i got home that  i had a slight fever come night time. no news is good news right? so our patient must have survived the operation. yay.

OT:does anybody know where i can get a new 20gb HD for my ipod? i'm tired of seeing it on top of my cousin's computer table, waiting to be used as a paperweight. besides, i miss it so much already. i miss listening to it during the our really long breaks at the hospital when we don't have lectures or cases.

sana matapos na tong sem na to. bakit ba kailangan ko lagi pahirapan ang sarili ko?

i've been going through a tough time right now, and surprisingly i haven't told anybody what it's about. and nobody even noticed that something has been bothering me, because i think i'm on the right track to becoming the master of my emotions. well actually one person noticed, but i told her i just feel sad about my ipod. it was a good thing because i was clutching it at that time, talking to it, begging it to cooperate (i do this to my computer and the printer, and it somehow works all the time hehe). anyway, it really feels good, to be in charge of my emotions instead of the other way around for a change. for one, impulse reactions are now minimized. don't get me wrong, i would still want to vent out to my friends, there's no better cure for the blues than a  bonding session with girl friends anyway, but i think this is that one thing i have to go through alone for me to learn an important lesson, to be a better person. however, i'm not saying that i have completely mastered my poker face. when

so needless to say, i won't be blogging about it. but i'm bored, the damn rain ruined my saturday morning plans that's why i'm stuck here at home. and since there's nothing else left to blog about....

WHAT'S THE STORY...

01. Of your name?
i've told the story a hundred times already. besides, i'm too lazy to type. hehe. but nowadays, people call me ate, classmate, tim, pam, and miss sexy. hahaha.

02. Of your parents?
they have a really weird relationship, i'll leave it at that. but these two here are the classic examples of why you should think not twice, not thrice, but a hundred times before getting married

03. Of your last birthday?
it was ok. i was fortunate enough to have a two day celebration. the first one was the surprise thing that my friends organized, got sugar high and sang myself into a sore throat using the magic sing. the second was spent with the family, few people called and texted, went to tagaytay for breakfast, then went to greenhills to spend some birthday money. it was tiring, quiet, and a bit boring to be honest, but it's ok because i think this is to make up for the crazy celebration i had last year.

04. Of your first love?
don't got one. sorry.

05. Of your room?
i don't have my own room. well technically i do but it's actually my cousin's old room. it's still his, it still has his clothes and stuff, i just sleep and watch tv and hang out there.

06. Of last Christmas?
it was like a bad made for tv movie. little kids getting drunk, one kid throwing up in the trash can inside an airconditioned room with wall to wall carpets, the adults fighting over something, a few tears shed, and someone walked out. me? i ignored them all and just went online. haha.

07. Of last Valentines day?
i forgot. because i lost my smart diary archive, i have no other means of remembering what i did. i think i just had school and then went home to stuff my face because my tita had the helper prepare something delicious for dinner to celebrate that one day single people feel their single-ness more than ever. me? i'm just glad for the steak and buttered corn. haha.

08. Of your current clothes?
pambahay. no interesting story, just clothes not nice enough to be seen in public in.

09. Of the first time you saw your crush?
oh i dunno. i don't develop instant crushes, i would always, always have to take a second look. well it depends. if you're as hot as brad pitt or some other hot movie star, then one look is more than enough

10. Of you and your best friend/s?
"me? whatever" and "eh ano ngayon kung naka-contacts ka?" hahaha


11. Of the last place you went to?
school? they're shooting some movie there right now. haven't seen an artista yet though. it's ok they're supposed to be there for the next 3 weeks anyway

12. Of the last time you cried.
I can't remember, but it's probably because of what happened ten months ago.

13. The last movie you watched?
sukob. about an old filipino tradition regarding marriages and dead people. it was ok. kris aquino can't act to save her life and claudine barreto's skin is just fab.

14. Of your greatest achievement so far?

mommy preggy's baby and the thyroidectomy. even if in the latter i was just an epal. hey i had a part!

15. TAG: Anybody

1. hindi benta sa kin ang atkins diet kasi i would rather give up protein than carbs. can't really live without bread, rice, pasta, and sugar! kahit diyan pumayat si oprah at kung sino sino pa!

2. naiinis ako sa mga dumudura sa kalye. tamaan na ang tamaan pero isipin mo na lang pag umulan tapos bumaha parang hinugasan mo ung paa mo (or shoes kung hindi ka mahilig mag flip flops) ng dura ng ibang tao. tapos papasok ka sa bahay mo... ewww...

3. naiinis ako sa mga saleslady/tindera na ang bagal na nga kumilos, nakasimangot pa

4.  mababaw ang luha ko. tsaka ang kaligayahan ko, minsan kahit corny ung joke, benta pa rin sa kin

5. i'm a better public speaker than a writer. hindi ko alam kung baket. pwede na nga daw ako hindi bigyan ng mic minsan kasi malakas boses ko hehe.

6. i'm a "touchy" person. minsan namimisinterpret siya as flirting.

7.  dinelete ko na ang friendster account ko kasi nakakahiya man sabihin, nagiging bisyo ko siya. nauubos ang oras ko sa kaka-friendster hop

8. pwede ako tumagal ng mga ilang weeks na hindi umaalis ng bahay basta kasama ko ang pc ko, maraming librong hindi ko pa nababasa at ung mga favorite ko (neverwhere! hp! artemis fowl!), maraming dvd, at ung ipod ko. huhuhu

9. i'm such a geek, i love shows like csi, house, scrubs, and grey's anatomy. gusto ko napapanood ung mga medical procedures tsaka sa csi naman, madami din ako natutunan

10. i believe in little miracles and answered prayers 

mahigit isang taon na kami magkakakilala ng mga close friends ko sa nursing, pero sobra kasing comfortable namin sa isa't-isa, minsan nakakalimutan ko na medyo magkakalayo pala ang aming mga age. kasi ganito un, ung favorite prof namin (magaling magturo + mataas magbigay ng grade + madali magpaquiz + maganda at sexy. saan ka pa di ba?) binebentahan kami ng beauty products. in fairness maganda talaga ung sales pitch niya. as in may demo pa, and na try namin sa mga mukha namin mismo ung products. maganda nga ung product, feel ko napaka soft ng skin ko sa mukha, tapos ung sa mga friends ko  naman, parang binabanat daw ung mukha nila after. iba kasi ung cleanser nila kaysa sa tinry ko, kasi nga mas bata daw ako sa kanila. ang catch ay, mahal siya. mga 5000 ang ilalabas kong pera kung bibili ako nun. siyempre pinag-isipan ko siya. tapos kinuwento ko ung isa kong ka-group sa duty na binentahan din ni maam ng products niya, un nga lang kasi itong girl na to medyo madaming blemishes at bukas ang pores niya, pero pinapili daw siya ng mom niya kung ano mas gusto niya, bagong cellphone o ung isang set ng products. pinili nung bata siyempre ay cellphone. at agree naman ako. ung mga kaibigan ko, hindi kasi may nagagamit naman daw silang cellphone at mas importante naman daw ang mga mukha nila.

kagaya ng sabi ko, agree ako dun sa ka-group ko, at ang sabi sa kin ng mga kaibigan ko "hindi kasi bako-bako ang mukha mo kaya sinasabi mo yan". ewan ko ba, tama siguro sila, puwede ding hindi. sa totoo lang kailangan ko din ng beauty products ni maam kasi napapansin ko tuwing umaga pag maglalagay na ko ng make up (haha landi talaga), lumalaki na ung pores ko at ung dark under eye circles ko nagiging more pronounced na, tapos medyo nagkakaroon na siya ng fine lines. sensitive kasi ung skin natin sa ilalim ng mata, eh ilang taon na ko naka-contacts kaya lagi ko siya nalalamutak. tapos mahilig pa ko maglagay ng concealer, at lagi ako kulang sa tulog lalo na this past month kaya ayun 23 pa lang ako meron na kong signs ng premature aging. hindi ako nage-exaggerate. but the thing is, wala ko pakialam dun. ayoko gumastos ng 5000 para sa mukha ko. ok pa naman siya eh, natatakpan ko pa naman ng makeup. ung 5000 na un, idadagdag ko na lang sa ipod fund ko. mas magiging masaya ako dun. saka ko na iintindihin ung mukha ko pag kumikita na ko ng sarili kong pera, pag i can afford na to splurge on things like these.

kaya sa aming 4 na magkakaibigan, ako lang ang hindi bumili. ang nakakatawa dun ay lagi silang nagsasabi na nagtitipid daw sila, madami kailangan bayaran tapos medyo hindi balanced ang pag in at out ng pera kasi mga asawa lang nila ang nagttrabaho, pero bumili pa rin sila nung binebenta ni maam. siguro kasi ibang henerasyon ang kinalakihan at pinanganakan ko. hindi nila masakyan kung bakit miss na miss ko na ang ipod ko.

di bale may plastic surgery naman. haha.

shet tulog na nga ko. baka mabawasan ung fine lines sa ilalim ng mata ko kahit papaano hehe. 

Model - 6610. 3 years old na siya!! shet!!

Network - globe

Current call alert tone - til i hear it from you - gin blossoms

Current message alert tone - standard message tone alert. para hindi mahaba haha

Have you assigned tones for anyone in your phonebook? - nope. hassle eh

Which tone for whom? - n/a

Favorite ringtone/s - i dunno. polytones lang ang pwede sa 6610 ko. wala lang hindi na ko masyado mahlig sa ring tones

Who's on your speed dial? - nobody. mas gusto ko ung nagsscroll through my phone book

Wallpaper/theme design - ung blue sky with clouds. lahat ng 6610 meron nun, unless na lang kung binura mo siya...

Installed/downloaded games - bounce, elevator action, splinter cell

Do you have a trinket? - nope. sasabit sabit lang sa bag ko

In what design? - actually dati meron ako pero super tagal na nun, gift sa kin nila jet isang christmas. basta letter f siya. nasira lang kasi... see answer to previous question

Crystal or rubber casing? - kung magkakaroon ako ng new phone na maganda, i would say crystal

The phone brand and model that you are currently lusting over - ung treo or o2 na mini. kelangan ko ng raket. waaaah.

Bag:

Shoulder, hand, clutch, sling or body bag? - shoulder. less hassle. lalo na kung nagcocommute ka

Big and roomy or small and cute bag? - big and roomy definitely. makeup at pabango ko pa lang ndi na kasya sa small and cute bag eh...may iba-iba pang abubot

Bag you are currently using - actually depende sa aking destination. kung may duty, gusto ko ung big and roomy. pag lecture sa school, ung regular sized. pag punta ng mall, kain sa labas or simba, eh di ung cute and small. haha hirap maging babae!ang arte!

Leather, fabric, or native materials? - definitely leather. grabe ako kung mang sira ng bag

Does your bag have to match your outfit? - nope. kahit nagcclash sila ng suot ko ok lang wala ko pakialam. pero syempre kung formal ung occassion, aba dapat nagmmatch sila

Any particular brand of bag? - kung mayaman lang ba ako, eh di puro branded ang bag ko! kasi like i've said before, grabe ako manira ng bag. pero kunyari mayaman ako, gusto ko coach and nine west

Birkin or Kelly bag? - birkin siguro. ung kelly ba ung jelly? basta leather!

Your bag is not complete without… cologne or perfume, tissue, makeup (or at least powder and lip gloss), wallet, comb, a book, mp3 player (waaaah ipod ko i miss you so much!!!)

Bling:

The most important piece/s of jewelry for you - earrings. pinaka madali tanggalin. hindi kasi kami puwede mag jewelry pag duty and minsan sa mga lectures din.

Have you ever had a part of your body pierced? - yes

Which part? - part naman ng body ko ang ears di ba? hehe

Tattoo? - parang gusto ko sa lower back ko. para feeling sexy ako.pero naisip ko, hindi na sexy ang tattoo na un pag 60 years old na ko. haha

Silver or gold? - white gold. or platinum.

Hoops, danglings or studs? - tumatanda na ata ako kasi gusto ko lang ay pearl studs.

i stumbled upon this entry a few days ago and waaaah i'm so envious!! i know it's understandable that she should own that much makeup because she is a makeup artist pero waaaaah kainggit pa rin. and the the stuff she has are those that are sold in rustan's makeup counters that i just stare wistfully at because i can't really afford them.

i know i can't complain because the makeup i own can fill 2 medium-sized make up kits. don't get me wrong, i do not have that kind of money. most of my makeup are those freebies that my titas get from clinique (because they are loyal patrons of the famous yellow sticky moisturizer) and lancome.

i need a new eyeshadow brush. and liquid concealer. and the concealer brush. i saw all three products at the body shop last saturday and each thing costs 500 pesos. waaah. i also need a new pot of white eyeshadow.

waah this is an unhealthy addiction. i know i have more than enough eyeshadow, but i can't help but drool over the m.a.c. and shu uemura products in their websites and makeup counters. i just browsed through the benefit catalog and i wanted to buy every product!

anyway, i think being a makeup artist is not necessarily a bad thing. my cousin has a friend who is a makeup artist for artistas like gretchen baretto, anne curtis, and heart evangelista and she rakes in about 3000 per makeup job. eh hindi naman ganun katagal mag make up di ba? it depends pa if kinontrata siya for a photo shoot. syempre mas malaki bayad dun.  i'm not saying na gusto ko siyang maging career, pero wala lang nakakaaliw lang.

i think phase lang to. malalampasan ko din ito. saan ba nakakabili ng mura pero magandang make up? 

may bagong open na parang coffee stand sa school na feeling starbucks kasi medyo mahal. in fairness naman kasi, may espresso machine sila. and ung barista sa seattle's best nagttrabaho dati. so nung hapon, nagpa-break ung prof namin sa obstetrics, sobrang bangag na ko, tapos hindi pa nakakarecuperate from our activities the day before (duty na, may paper pa. argh), at hindi ako nakapag coffee kaninang umaga, so tinry ko ung capuccino nila. 12 oz for 60 pesos. tapos siguro sobrang bangag na ung itsura ko kasi nakatulala lang ako habang kinakausap ako nung barista, dinagdagan niya ng half a shot pa ng espresso ung coffee ko. yay. parang hindi ako sanay. or maybe psychological lang ung effect niya. sa pagkakaalam ko ay hindi pa ko nakatry na mag more than one shot ng espresso. never naman ako nag order ng kape na mas malaki pa sa tall na size.

so anyway, dinala ko siya pabalik sa room. siguro kaya din ako inaantok kasi nakatapat sa ibabaw ng ulo ko ung fan. so anyway, pagka upo ko, biglang may binalita sa akin ung friend ko na nakaupo sa tabi ko. kasali daw kaming tatlong magkakaibigan sa listahan ng mga top students ng buong batch. i was like, no way! pero i saw the list myself and andun nga ung pangalan ko. gusto ko nga kuhanan ng pic ung listahan eh wala lang. so along with the caffeine buzz, masyado ako naligayahan sa nasagap kong balita. kaya feel ko tuloy mag aral para sa exams ko bukas sa patho at pedia. hahaha dork.

gusto ko na rin ng espresso machine.

basta ang saya saya! ang hirap magalit ngayong araw na to! well baka mag iba na ang mood ko mamaya pag nag aaral na ko kasi medyo mahirap siya hehe 

hay thank god friday na! i don't really know why, pero lagi akong pagod. nahihirapan akong umalis sa ilalim ng kumot ko pag ginising na ko ng alarm ko. hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit feeling ko lagi na wala akong tulog, eh dati naman masaya na rin ako sa 5 hours of sleep. may deadline ako sa monday actually, pero hindi ko muna ito iintindihin ngayong gabi. nais kong magpahinga at... basta gumawa ng mga bagay na hindi related sa school.

 pagkat ang tulad mo ay minsan lang sa buhay kooooo!!!

ending na pala ng sa piling mo ngayon. nanonood ung mga helpers namin, at ang comment ko lang ay... hindi flattering for judy ann ung beach wedding shot. nanonood ako nitong show na to dati, but then lagi ako napupunta sa afternoon rotation kaya ayun hindi ko na nasundan. tsaka conflict siya with american idol, amazing race, csi, scrubs, etc etc. ay basta, pangako sa'yo pa rin ang favorite pinoy telenovela ko! (second lang ung sa dulo ng walang hanggan ba un? basta ung may character na yuri orbida!! haha) nung isang duty nga namin, nagbukas kasi ng tv ung mga nurses tapos nakita ko na nasa akto ng pagwawala si eula valdez sa gilid ng bundok ng basura nang, natigil ako at napaisip... wait lang! si amor powers un ah! bago siya naging mayaman! waaaaah!! i swear kahiya-hiya ako sa ward, napa-shriek ata ako at na-realize ko na ipinapalabas nila ulit ang pangako sayo!!! waaaaah!!! sinusubukan ko tuloy ngayon na umuwi bago mag 6 para mapanood ko ito. hahaha kabakyaan!!! hahaha!!

 

 so lonely before i finally found... what i've been looking for

nanonood ako ng high school musical nung isang araw. dorky movie siya, pero ewan ko nagustuhan ko siya! sobrang benta sa kin ung part na "G-O-D-R-A-M-A-C-L-U-B-EXCLAMATION POINT!" pero fave song ko is ung what i've been looking for ni sharpay and ryan. sa duty nga the next day kinakanta ko pa rin siya sa utak ko.

 it's too cliche, i won't say i'm in love

isa ko pang napagtripan nung isang araw ay ung disney movie na hercules. ang cute cute talaga ng movie na to promise! medyo nagaya ko din ung mannerisms ni meg nung nasa duty ako. buti na lang may ka-group ako na batang disney channel din kaya ayun, wala kaming tigil sa pagkanta ng i won't say i'm in love tsaka what i've been looking for. tinangka pa nga naming gayahin ung sayaw sa we're all in this together pero walang nangyari kasi hindi namin matandaan kung ano ung ginawa nilang steps. haha.

gusto kong bumalik ang dati kong enthusiasm sa pagbabasa ng libro. gusto kong ma-excite at the prospect of new books. naffrustrate ako minsan pag magbblog ako kasi hindi ako makabuo ng matinong entry. naffrustrate ako kasi ok ako pag written exams pero medyo engot ako pagdating sa clinical stuff. magpapalit lang ako ng iv fluid nung patient ko, parang hindi ako kumain buong araw kasi hindi ko mahugot ung pointy thing sa empty iv container at hindi ko rin mabuksan ng maayos ung bagong iv container. inabot tuloy ako ng siyam-siyam sa loob ng room nung patient. naffrustrate ako kasi ung mga groupmates ko na gusto minsan kutusan nung clinical instructor namin kasi parang mga kiti-kita sa gulo at pasaway, eh mas madami pang alam sa kin pag hands on na. hay. kinakabahan kasi ako minsan. kaya ayun nakakalimutan ko na mali pala ung ginagawa ko.

hay. wala pa rin balita sa ipod ko. ano na kaya nangyari sa kanya?  

 

 

 sa lakeside maternity clinic. ganyan talaga pag walang patient, camwhore na lang pampalipas oras! hehe. mukha namang hindi nagkakalayo mga age namin noh?

our last day with our favorite clinical instructor, sir carlo. cute na, hindi pa marunong mang-okray kahit mali-mali na ginagawa ko. hanggang ngayon ay misterio pa rin sa amin kung bading ba siya o hindi. kasi may date daw siya, tapos bebot ung ginamit niyang term. pero nung isang araw sa duty, kanta siya ng kanta ng push the button. hindi kinaya ng powers ko, ang hirap hindi tumawa. anyway sana lang binigyan ako ng time mag ayos ng buhok. sayang tuloy ang picture. hehe.

di ba ang pangarap ko talaga ay ang maging boldstar? o ayan nagppractice na ko. haha. kinuhanan pala ko ng groupmate ko nung ginawa ko tong pose na to. ayan na nga pala ung itsura ng bago kong uniform, to be worn only during hospital and clinic duties. naiinis ako pag kelangan ko suotin to dahil kelangan ternohan ng stockings. so 3 times a week eh bad trip ako. hindi lang masyado halata sa picture na to. hahaha.

 haha i'm such a loser. gumagawa ako ng school work on a saturday night. bale delaying tactic ko lang tong entry na ginawa ko. ang dami ko pa sana gustong i-post na pics pero ung iba kasi nasa phone pa nung iba kong groupmates. sana magkaroon na ko ng digital cam or cam phone. para di  ba pag nagkuwento na ko nga mga med procedures, may kasama nang picture? hehe

i had to go out and buy a pack of bobby pins today because i just had a haircut yesterday and my CI would be more than happy to give me a minus 5 tomorrow during duty if she sees any stray hairs escaping my bun. 3 hours later i left sm with the pack of bobby pins. and an eyeshadow brush, concealer brush, l'oreal revitalift eye cream, eyeshadow base, a tiny container of nivea cream, pore strips (because i do not have time to go to the derma to have my blackheads removed!), and tissue. hay. i wanted to buy a tube of liquid concealer to go with the concealer brush, but i stopped myself because i won't have money anymore if i still pushed through with this purchase, and besides i still have the stick concealer and the color corrector thing. the bobby pins itself cost only 7 pesos, while everything else added up to almost 900. next time i had to go to watson's, i wouldn't bring extra money with me anymore.

i still want the liquid concealer. and more eyeshadow colors. and lip gloss. and lipsticks waaaah.