mrssnuffles

I AM, bitch. Hahahaha courtesy of pearsonvue.com's quick results. I paid $7.95 just to know the results 2 days after my exam date.

Anyway, so on my exam date, I was 2 hours early. Weirdly enough, I was calm. I just wanted to get the exam over with. At that time I was so tired of reviewing that the mere sight of my laptop sickens me. Not to be cocky or anything, but while I was waiting to be led to a computer, I felt pretty confident because eventhough I answered and rationalized about a 100 questions per day (and on some days I cheat and do only 75 hahaha), which was half of what most people suggested that I accomplish per day, I have had a lot of encouragement from my family and friends. Visiting the Manaoag church also helped boost my confidence. I think I even smiled dorkily when my picture was taken, which was a requirement before going inside the testing area.

I sat down in front of my computer. Finally! Question number one was hard, but I decided not to worry about it because I still have more or less a hundred more to go. But then by the time I got to question number 10, I could feel my smile fading. I was cursing under my breath with every question. By the time I reached number 50, I wanted to run out of the testing area. Hahaha. So anyway I was hoping that my computer is going to stop at number 75, but then I got to 76 so I resigned myself into answering 200 questions more. It's a good thing I had a heavy breakfast. I was not really looking at the item number after I reached past 75, so I was a bit shocked that my computer suddenly went blank after I submitted my answer for the question I was currently working on. And then I suddenly mouthed FUCK!! It's over. I didn't even get a chance to fight until number 265. I'm not sure but I think my computer stopped somewhere between 85-90. Hahaha. So I left the testing area and went to get my things from the locker that was assigned to me. I was still in a state of shock. My cousin won't be picking me up from Trident (where the testing center was located by the way hehe) in about an hour so I just decided to head over to Cityland, which is about 2 buildings away, where there's a Booksale branch. I didn't even have a chance to browse because the moment I stepped inside the store, I had the overwhelming urge to cry. So I went out again and just headed over to the nearest Ministop, sat down in a table for four, and tried my very best to calm down. A few tears escaped. It must have been awkward for the guy who I was sharing a table with. Hahaha. When my cousin finally came, I wanted to tell her to just take me home because I wanted to cry and cry and cry. But I saw that she made an effort to look nice, because we were planning to have a lunch at Circles in Shangri-La, then to Booksale Makati Cinema Square, as a sort of celebration after my exam. I didn't have the heart to tell her that at this point I won't be able to tell the difference between SM's shawarma and the one in Circles, because I was feeling crappy. So I forced myself to eat. By the time we got to MCS tears were forming at the corner of my eyes so I hastily ran to the bathroom and cried there. Hahaha. I went back 15 minutes later after I have calmed myself down. I tried to browse through the Booksale shelves, I really did. I agree that it was the awesomest Booksale branch I have been to so far, but like the buffet lunch, I was not able to appreciate it. I think I just bought some 35 peso Marion Zimmer Bradley book just so we can finally go home because my cousin won't let me leave the store without buying anything.

When we got home, there was no place for me to wallow and cry because all the rooms were occupied. So  I just locked myself in the bathroom. My tita called me over to her room to ask how my exam went but I just gave her two word answers and then just told her that I have a headache and I'm super sleepy because I am not used to waking up at 6 in the morning. And then I cried some more. I kept on thinking about the $400 I have just wasted and the other $400 mother and father would be forced to shell out when I retake the exam. My lola has been in the hospital for about 3 weeks at the time and I really can't afford to waste that kind of money. I thought about how I am going to tell all my friends and acquaintances about how I stupidly failed an exam I studied almost more than 3 months for.

Two days later I got the results. My mouth dropped open because I was really expecting to fail. I plurked about and told my friend Rochelle on YM because there was no one to tell the news to here at home, everyone was either still asleep or at work when I was checking the pearsonvue website. I texted the news to my tita who I think cried. Tears of joy she said, but I think she was just relieved haha because based on my reaction after the exam, she was expecting the worst. I told mother but she couldn't stay very long on the fone because she had to wake up early for work the next day.

I was happy and of course relieved. I actually did it! I passed! And on my own too hehe. But then an hour later, I felt bummed. It's because I suddenly realized that I yet have to go job-hunting. One more day of being jobless means one more day of being stuck here. And that was why I spent the past few days pouting. I kept thinking that I should have tried starting the jobhunt earlier. I felt so bad that I couldn't even enjoy reading for fun.

Yeah well stuff happens. I'm feeling much better now. I still haven't found a job, but I have been going to the hospital everyday to visit my lola and sometimes the 2-10pm nurse lets me help with the tube feedings. It's boring in the hospital, even with a book and my DS in tow, but it's loads better than staying at home. I have had enough of this place when I was reviewing for the NCLEX. And that way I get to sort of practice before I get a job or be allowed to volunteer.

Please kindly excuse whatever grammar crime I have committed. I haven't blogged in exactly 5 weeks, or so my livejournal tells me. Hahaha.

Next up: book reviews for whereisaif.com. I hope. Hehehe

mrssnuffles

Kill me now. Hahahaha. I'm too lazy to review. I thought that when I finally get my ATT and an exam date I would be more serious but no, almost a month till the said date and I still take frequent 1 hour breaks and I still do a maximum of 150 review questions and rationales. That's a hundred less than what the recommended number is at this point before the exam date. I think Kaplan reviewees were told that one has to answer at least 10,000 review questions in order to have a fighting chance of passing the NCLEX. I am in trouble then because I think I have answered a little over 1000.

On the other hand, I can't wait until the exam is over. Not that I am depriving myself completely of the things I enjoy doing. I mean I usually read a non-nursing book, play Rhythm Heaven (still can't get past the Glee Club argh), Elite Beat Agents, and Mario Kart on the DS, and go online on my frequent one hour breaks, and I usually postpone my self-review for American Idol on Wednesdays and Thursdays, but after the exam I can spend more time doing the said enjoyable things without feeling guilty afterwards. And without a time limit. Hahaha.

Been reading The Zahir on my said one hour breaks. And I think I'm getting a bit impatient with it.

For some reason, I just felt like reading my old livejournal entries last week I think, after I got home from Gino's birthday/gatecrashing Faye's house, and ugh I hate my 2002 self. Shet. Ewwww. It really is a good thing that we all grow as individuals hahahahaha.

It's been an effing hot week. Literally. I went out with the AIF people last night, and while we were waiting to be seated at Chili's, I was sweating. Inside GB5. Even the mall aircon is not as efficient anymore. Or maybe it was just me because I was speedwalking. Hahaha.  I wasn't able to finish my chicken sandwich because of the bottomless lemonade and unlimited nachos. I hould have gotten an appetizer or something. Hahaha kuripot mode. I had loads of fun though. I love love love the AIF people. My cheeks were hurting when I got home last night and my throat felt a little dry. Must be from all the laughing and talking we did last night. I really wish I could go HK and Macau with you guys on November actually we'll see after I get a real job ok?

Been LSS-ing on Up Dharma Down's Sana. It has been played on loop on my iTunes.

There really is nothing much to blog about in my life right now. I just wanted to waste time on the internet.

mrssnuffles

From Facebook. Hahaha I was tagged like weeks ago and I wasn't planning on answering this thing but then I needed something else to do when my self-review is starting to turn my brain into lugaw so here it is! Hahaha

1. When it comes to dessert, if it's not chocolate it's not worth it. Even if it is caramel apples.

2.I love walking, and I love doing it alone with only my ipod for company. Eventhough my weight and physical appearance begs to differ. hahaha

3. I love makeup and maybe the reason I am into it so much is because I don't need a 24-inch waistline and fabulous long legs to look good in it.

4. I hate math and it hates me just as much so it's all good.

5. I'm a smeller (is there such a word? hahaha) and people who smell good oftentimes earn 50 pogi/ganda points with me.

6. I cannot resist a real good book bargain, especially if it's under 100 pesos. Dem yu booksale!!

7. I hate killing cockroaches because of the crunching sound it makes when you crush them with a chinelas. And cleaning up afterwards is messy.

8. I haven't worn nail polish for the past 4 years thanks to nursing. Even on my toes, but that's because I have ugly feet and the polish will emphasize their ugliness more

9. One of my closet ultra baduy fave songs is Alipin by Shamrock. And yes, I have more than one hahaha

10. I love animated movies and tweener shows and apparently the love for non-age appropriate media runs in the family because my dad loves to watch the shrek movies, fresh prince of bel-air, and the peanuts cartoons everytime the said movies and shows are on tv and my mom loves the hills. hahaha

11. I cannot leave the house without eyeliner or mascara on (save for the times that I wear my glasses instead of contacts) because I have a kuliti scar on my right eye that I'm a wee bit self-conscious about

12. I'm not really a beef person except when it's in tapa form or sliced into really thin strips like in Yoshinoya or Pepper Lunch

13. I don't know how to put on blush on or bronzer correctly because I never use those things on my face.

14. I almost always make sure that I have a book in my bag before I leave the house that's why I never did like tiny bags.

15. I love nanay games like Diner Dash, Luxor, Cake Mania, 7 Wonders of the Ancient World.

16. I sometimes go on dates with myself. Who else would know the right way to treat me but me? hahaha

17. I talk too much like most of the time but there are two fail-safe things that could shut me up: one is hunger, the other one is a super hot boy. Hahahaha

18. I do not like using text shortcuts. I like spelling out my words. That was before. Now I am forced to utilize this way of texting especially if I am in a hurry because I'm on prepaid now, I'm paying for my own load, and the 5 and 2 buttons of my fone are faulty.

19. My seatmate in first year high school was getting tired of me asking what was written on the board that he made me wear his glasses and that was when I realized that I needed a pair of my own. I have been wearing glasses since then.

20. I sometimes judge a book by its cover. That was why I bought the book Twilight in the first place. I didn't like it by the way. No offense to the people who did.

21. When I was in DLSU, I would always dress up during Wednesdays because of U-break. It's weird I know I mean the AIF guys and I don't even leave goks during the university-wide break anyway hahaha

22. I hate my hair, hated it since I was in grade 6. Oh I did love it on the two years that I had it rebonded though.

23. Majority of the bands/singers on my ipod are chicks. Because chicks rule! hahaha

24. I get insomnia attacks at least once a week. They always happen whenever I had to get up early the next day and I think that stresses me out, therefore I find it difficult to fall asleep.

25. A daily dose of www.fmylife.com keeps the doctors and the national center for mental health away.

mrssnuffles

So I'm back in Manila, been back for almost a month now. I'm actually neither happy or sad about being back during the first few weeks that I got here. I'm just really, really sick and tired of moving. But lately I have been leaning towards being not happy because it sometimes feels like my house got burned down or something, and what meager stuff I have managed to save from the fire was stolen by your friendly neighborhood akyat bahay gang. It's just that when I left last September, we all thought that I was not going back for at least 5 years, so almost all my clothes were sold in a garage sale held shortly after I left, and my nursing books donated to some charity. It's nobody's fault really and I'm not blaming anybody but it really sucks having to wear the same 8 shirts over and over again when I had to go out. And since the parents are on tipid mode and won't be reinstating my student allowance till May, I can't buy new stuff. Or go out a lot for that matter. Which oddly, at this point in my life is actually a good thing because of the clothes situation. And no, I was not able to go shopping when I bummed around in Illinois for 5 months because I just felt like I didn't need to do so because I rarely go out when I was there anyway. So yeah, life pretty much stinks for me nowadays.

Even my self-review is disappointing me. My scores on the end of chapter questions were horrible. But the good news is I am finally done reading my Saunders book after 75 million years. So fine I cheated and skipped a chapter and a half but I think I'm ready for my qbanks now. I managed to get hold of A LOT of them when I was procrastinating at the  public library so even if I am planning on taking the exam in May, I won't be running out of questions to answer even if I did a minimum of 100 questions a day. And knowing myself, I won't be reviewing like everyday from now til my exam date anyway. hahaha.

Anyway, turns out I need to get me some hospital experience while waiting for the stupid retrogression to go away. And with our country's current economic state... hay good luck. My fellow RN friends have submitted their resumes and stuff to a couple of hospitals a few months ago and nobody has called them back for an interview yet. So yay another reason why being back here stinks.

Don't get me wrong, I like being back sometimes too. My cousin has a Wii, which I haven't even touched yet because I promised myself I'm not gonna until after my NCLEX. And add to her sort of new toy, she's a total booksale shopaholic and she has managed to acquire about a hundred new books while I was gone. Her dibidi collection has also grown. But the best part about being back is that I actually get to see and be with my friends again. uy. Yikee. Hehehe. Seriously though, I really missed the planned and unplanned lakads, and the drinking parties! I haven't had much practice for 5 months that I got tipsy/drunk so quickly and threw up after a few drinks on the two inuman sessions I've been to. Such a shame, I know this is not something to be proud of, but I am actually one of the few ones left standing on times like those.

I still don't know when I will be able to go back to the US but I'm quite optimistic that it wouldn't take me 2 years, that's why I decided not to have my old globe number reconnected. Hahahaha

Yeah well gotta go and do a hundred questions now. Actually just 75 because I already did 25 on the Mosby's Prioritization workbook. Hahahaha

mrssnuffles

Things are not going too well for me right now. I have already cried a little, out of frustration, and those tears and this entry are all I could manage right now. Too many things to do. I just decided to follow one of my LJ friends' example and made a list of 5 things I am thankful for everyday, to make myself feel better.

1. Canned whipped chocolate frosting. That thing is pure evil but oh so yummy.
2. My bed, the awesomest (hahaha) bed in the entire world, especially after a few hours of rebyu mode.
3. Tweener shows like Hannah Montana, Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and iCarly. Oh, and Sonny With a Chance too even if it's a new show and there are only 2 episodes out.
   
4. Having the apartment to myself for an average of 6 hours per day.
5. The internet. Sure I complain about it all the time because it's hella slow and it gets disconnected everytime somebody tries to call our land line (dem you telemarketers!), but at least I have an internet connection and I can plurk. Haha

Kayo na po ang bahala Lord.